.
.
.
Good morning, this is HF restaurant.
What can I do for you?
格拉斯拿着笔等待着电话那头的“指示”，听筒里沉静了几秒钟，突然传来小孩子的笑声。
Hello?
"Ella! Ryan! How did I teach you?"
Excuse me?
终于安静了下来，一个稚嫩的女声传来：
"We want a ham pizza!"
（我们想要一个火腿披萨！）
接着是一个小男孩：
"Mother will get it in half an hour!"
（半个小时后妈妈会去拿！）
Okay, a ham pizza.
So what's your mother's name?
"Abigail Jones!"
（艾比盖尔·琼斯！）
Okay.
Thank you for your calling and looking forward to your coming.
（感谢来电，恭候光临）
挂掉电话，格拉斯揉了揉发疼的耳朵，抬头正好对上来结账的希尔先生，又马上挂好笑容。
Mr. Hill, what about the breakfast?
I don't know why.
Today's breakfast is better than before.
Maybe it's because of my considerate service.
（没准儿是因为我服务周到）
格拉斯得意地挑眉，语气里却不含一分骄傲。
希尔先生轻笑，对他轻轻点头。
See you.
Welcome to come again next time.
.
巴瑞回来的时候，瑞秋已经补好了妆。
两人又聊了几句，结果瑞秋得知巴瑞和她的伴娘明蒂一起去阿鲁巴岛度了蜜月，还植了发，甚至为了明蒂开始戴隐形眼镜。
要知道巴瑞最讨厌手指戳进眼睛的感觉了。
“Listen, I really want to thank you.”
"About a month ago, I wanted to hurt you."
Who did you want to hurt?
啊哦…不速之客…
I knew you were a rotten pea!
（我就知道你这个豌豆坏透了！）
"Sorry, Glass…"
Don't call me by my name.
I'm not familiar with you.
（我们可不熟）
"Listen, more than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life."
（这辈子我从未如此想去伤害某个人。）
Come on! Fuck you!
（得了吧！去你的！）
"……"
Rach, give him the ring.
有人撑腰就是不一样，瑞秋撩了把头发，抬着下巴把戒指还给了巴瑞。
格林家的孩子永远骄傲。
Maybe some day Mindy.
（也许以后是明蒂的）
"Like she'd settle for that."
（她会勉强接受的。）
Ha!
Oh, yes?
Y'know, thieves or robbers always like other people's things
（小偷或强盗总是喜欢别人的东西）
and don't use their own.
（却不用他们自己的）
"……"
os: That's why I love my little brother.
.
罗斯陪着苏珊和卡罗尔在医院做超声波检查，医生还没来，三个人——主要是罗斯和苏珊——就因为孩子的名字吵了起来。
.
Oh, please!
What's wrong with Helen?
（拜托！海伦有什么不好？）
Helen Geller?
I don't think so.
Sorry, Ross.
It's not Geller.
（孩子不姓盖勒）
What, it's gonna be Helen Willick?
ps：Willick是卡罗尔的姓。
No, actually, we talked about Helen Willick-Bunch.
ps：班奇是苏珊的姓。
Why?!
It's my baby, too
Okay, so funny.
I don't remember you making any sperm.
Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is!
Hey! I'm in there, too!
（拜托！我也是当事人！）
If you have to do that, it's just named Glass Geller.
格拉斯：你礼貌吗？
两人愣了愣。
What's that?
… I don't know.
.
.
.
How was your work today?
Not bad... Except for a little accident.
（还不错…除了一点小小的意外）
What?
I met a poodle.
Whoa~~
Did it bite you?
Nope.
That's OK.
But um…
I bit him.
Wow…
It seems that the taste is average.
（看样子口感一般啊）
Yeah~
But fortunately,
I got off work earlier.
（我因此早退了）
So my little hero can save me.
It's no problem.
But you have to do something yourself.
Sure, um… I'm going to call Mindy.
格拉斯笑着点点头，他很高兴看到瑞秋的一点成长。
说干就干，瑞秋拨通了明蒂的电话。
Hi, Mindy, I'm Rachel.
Yeah, I'm fine.
I saw Barry today.
And yeah, he told me.
No, it's okay.
Really, it's okay.
I hope you two are very happy. I really do.
瑞秋冲格拉斯挑眉，格拉斯笑意更甚，他知道，来自格林的报复要来了。
And Mindy, y'know,
if everything works out,
（如果你们感情顺利）
and you guys end up getting married and having kids-
（最后能结婚生子的话）
and everything-
I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose.
（那么我希望你们的孩子有他的发际线和你的糟鼻子）
说完就挂，根本不给对方反击的机会。
Okay, I know it was cheap shot,
（好吧，我知道这招很贱）
but I feel so much better now.
（但我感觉棒极了）
格林姐弟互相击掌，朋友们笑着看着他们。
Well, now it's time to watch the little show that Ross gave us.
（好了，现在该看看罗斯送给我们的小节目了）
格拉斯猜到会是卡罗尔的超声波检查，他想让莫妮卡看的，虽然他知道罗斯一定会给他的妹妹分享，但他想见证这一刻。
Ross, you're going to be a father,
so you have to try hard!
Of course, but um…
Y'know…
喜悦中参杂的是紧张与胆怯，格拉斯移开目光，虽然是那么多年的死对头，但他还是希望罗斯能够顺利地当好一个父亲…
这一点他可是深有体会。
钱德勒发现格拉斯在发呆，便笑嘻嘻地凑了过去。
What are you thinking?
奇怪，他本来已经准备好冷笑话了…
It's just- y'know,
I don't think I will have a child.
不对，他想说的不是这个。
So do I.
But you know what?
We can adopt one.
（我们可以领养一个）
Yep, that's it.
两人自顾自地聊着，没注意到大家的注意力已经从电视上转移到他们两个身上了。
Boy or girl?
I don't think two men can take good care of a girl,
although I like a girl.
But if we have a boy, would the three of us fight?
（但是要是养个男孩儿，我们三个会不会打架？）
Well, yeah, you're right.
Wow, my sweet guys.
So… About the name?
Wait, with whose last name?
Ohhh, that's primary.
Sorry?
Hello?
Hey! Don't interrupt them.
I want to know the ending.
Wow… So funny…
钱德勒和格拉斯看了看朋友们，又看了看彼此。
Did we just say anything?
Like dinner?
Oh, yes!
还真有人信…
It's time for dinner!
之前他们不常用“dinner”这种专指的词汇，只有格拉斯喜欢说“breakfast”“lunch”“dinner”，——可能是职业习惯——不知道怎么回事儿，现在全跟着他的习惯走了。
Okay. Now we can go back.
I'll cook for you.
有台阶为什么不下？
于是乔伊左手拉着钱德勒，右手拉着格拉斯，三个人快快乐乐地回到了自己的公寓，剩下几个人大眼瞪大眼，好像还没明白发生了什么。
最先反应过来的是瑞秋，毕竟事关她亲爱的弟弟的终身大事。
Oh god… That's crazy!
Oh! Maybe one day they will bring back a child.
Noooooo!
Maybe I'm still suitable for studying dinosaurs.
Okay, maybe I have to plan to kill someone.
Count me in.
（算我一个）
今天可真刺激…信息量太大，估计很难睡着了…
.
.
.
———
———
Unfinished to be continued
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