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今天朋友们在聊接吻的问题。
女生们很在意接吻，觉得接吻很重要，而男孩们觉得接吻就像是乐队表演前的暖场秀。
ChandlerYou see, the problem IS, though after the concert's over,
Chandler（你瞧，问题在于演唱会结束后）
Chandlerno matter how great the show was,
Chandler（不论表演有多精彩）
Chandleryou girls are always looking for the comedian again, you know?
Chandler（你们女生还总想再重温暖场搞笑秀）
ChandlerI mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic… basically
Chandler（我们在开着车奋力杀出车阵）
Chandlerjust trying to stay away.
Chandler（只是拼命不让自己睡着）
RachelYeah~ Maybe…
RachelWhy don't you ask Glass's point?
瑞秋懒洋洋地朝钱德勒挑了挑眉，而钱德勒很不屑，他认为自己被挑衅了。
都是男人，格拉斯怎么会站错队呢？
ChandlerSo what do you think?
对上钱德勒自信的眼神，格拉斯犹豫地挠挠头。
MonicaIt's okay, just say what you think.
钱德勒反手指着天花板，对莫妮卡发出警告：
ChandlerDon't disturb him!
Chandler（别干扰他！）
莫妮卡对着他的后背翻了个白眼。
GlassYour speech was very wonderful,
ChandlerYes!…
Glassbut I agree with them: Kissing is very important.
ChandlerNooooo!
RossWhat?!
GlassI mean,
Glasswhen someone kisses me,
Glass（当一个人吻我的时候）
GlassI can feel if he really loves me through the kiss.
Glass（我能从他的吻中知道他是否真的爱我）
Chandleros: He?
RachelSee, my brother is not a "primitive person" like you guys.
Rachel（看吧，我弟弟可不是你们那种“原始人”）
JoeyWow, I almost didn't know we were still talking about sex…
.
"She didn't leave in such a hurry after all."
（她似乎不着急离开。）
ChandlerOh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding.
Chandler（我猜这是《三人行》里他们有误会那集）
Phoebe… Then I've already seen this one!
Phoebe（那我看过这一集了）
菲比拿起遥控器关掉了电视，格拉斯眨了眨眼。
GlassBut almost every episode of it has misunderstandings.
Glass（但这部电视剧几乎每集都在误解啊）
PhoebeWhat?
钱德勒飞快地看了格拉斯一眼。
ChandlerNo, nothing.
Chandleros: Oh my God, he got me!
JoeySo you got a job?
JoeyExactly?
Joey（具体是做什么的？）
GlassCheck out the guests and make coffee… things.
Glass（就是收钱、冲咖啡什么的…）
GlassAnd maybe someone has a conflict, I'll help stop it.
Glass（有人起了冲突，我去帮忙拦一下）
ChandlerWow, that sounds like that front desk manager!
Chandler（听起来像是前台经理！）
ChandlerHow did you get?
Chandler（你是怎么得到这份工作的？）
格拉斯懒散地靠在沙发里，像大人给孩子讲睡前故事揉乱了钱德勒和乔伊的头发。
GlassI was walking on the road and passed the "women only" restaurant.
Glass（我正走在路上，经过那家“只服务女性”的餐厅）
JoeyWomen only?
GlassThe lackey.
Glass（就是我说过的那个狗腿子、马屁精）
JoeyOh, yeah.
GlassAnd suddenly,
Glassa man rushed out of it and dragged me in.
Glass（忽然从里面冲出来一个人，他把我拽了进去）
GlassHe explained that the fool had been fired by him yesterday.
Glass（他解释说昨天那个蠢货已经被他开除了）
GlassAnd he really wants to hire me.
Glass（而他非常想聘用我）
ChandlerAnd then?
GlassThen I pushed him away!
Glass（然后我一把推开了他！）
GlassI refused!
Glass（我拒绝了他！）
JoeyNo!
JoeyThat's not true!
JoeyYou didn't say that twice before!
Joey（你前两次不是这么说的！）
格拉斯撇撇嘴，毫不掩饰地翻了个白眼。
GlassYour mother told you a story three times in a row
Glassand three times were exactly the same?
Glass（你妈妈给你讲故事连着讲三遍而且三遍一模一样吗？）
从刚才就一直在忙着整理客厅的莫妮卡无差别地推开了黏在沙发靠背上的钱德勒和格拉斯，然后直接从正在喝水的乔伊手里拿走了水杯。
JoeySorry, the swallowing slowed me down.
Joey（真不好意思，我咽得太慢了）
MonicaWhose little ball of paper?
Monica（这是谁的小纸团？）
钱德勒和格拉斯同时转头，看到莫妮卡正目光犀利地盯着小茶几上的一个可怜的小纸团。
ChandlerOh, that would be mine.
GlassYours?
GlassIsn't mine?
ChandlerWell, I don't know…
ChandlerI just wrote a note to myself.
GlassOh, so it's not your little ball of paper,
GlassI wrote down the number of the restaurant in case I forgot.
GlassAnd it's made a ball because…
Glass（而把它团成团是因为…）
莫妮卡的眼神像是要杀人，再加上嘴角强制性地想给格拉斯一个微笑，整体上看着更恐怖了…
格拉斯小心翼翼地把那一小团纸拿了回来，莫名心虚地弓着身子。
GlassI'm sorry…
然后，莫妮卡在几人的注视下又在拍打靠枕…
PhoebeMonica, you know, you've really fluffed that--
Phoebe（莫妮卡，你已经拍过枕头了）
然后莫妮卡的视线转向菲比，整个过程都让格拉斯有种从内而外的惊悚感…
PhoebeIt's fine!
莫妮卡好恐怖…
MonicaLook, I'm sorry guys,
MonicaI just don't wanna give them any more ammunition than they already have.
Monica（我只是不想给他们任何借题发挥的机会）
ChandlerYes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about the flatness OF a child's pillow.
Chandler（没错，众所周知父母对于孩子的枕头的要求有多严苛）
钱德勒起身走到一边晒太阳，格拉斯轻轻起身，顺手拍平了刚刚钱德勒和他坐的位置。
PhoebeYou're so cautious.
Phoebe（你真谨慎）
GlassThat's why I haven't been caught by the cops.
Glass（所以我才一直没被警察抓住）
JoeyRelax, you do this every time.
Joey（放松点，你每次都这样）
JoeyThe place looks great.
JoeyYou got a beautiful lasagna here that looks good enough to…
Joey（你这里有色香味俱全的意大利千层面…）
说着，乔伊已经朝那盘千层面伸出了“罪恶之手”…
当然被莫妮卡一掌拍开了。
Joeyavoid touching…
Joey（还不许碰…）
GlassCan I ask… why?
GlassI mean, everything is good enough.
JoeyYeah, calm down.
JoeyYou don't see Ross getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come.
Joey（从来没见哪次他们来的时候罗斯露出慌张的样子）
MonicaThat's because as far as my parents are concerned,
MonicaRoss can do no wrong.
Monica（因为在他们心中，罗斯是不可能犯错的）
MonicaY'see, he's the Prince.
看着脚步几乎不停歇的莫妮卡，格拉斯直接上前拦住了她所有动作。
GlassStop.
.
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.
———
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Unfinished to be continued
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