英语笑话

Fond but Forgetful甜蜜的健忘

Fond but Forgetful Bernard was invited to his friend Ruben's home for dinner. Ruben, the host, made all the arrangements and requested his wife to prepare dinner and make Bernard feel at home. But he always used endearing terms like sweetheart, sugar plum, apple pie, honey pie, honey dew, morning rose, and pumpkin pie to call his wife whenever he requested something or talked to her. Bernard was very, very impressed. He said: "Oh, my God, you are really, really sweet. After all these years of marriage, you still call her all these sweet names. You must have a very happy marriage. I am glad for you." Ruben said, "Shh, don't speak so loudly. I began to forget her name three years ago." 甜蜜的健忘 伯纳有次应邀到朋友家吃晚餐，主人鲁宾盛情招待， 并要太太准备丰富的餐点，让伯纳感到宾至如归。 每当鲁宾请求太太帮忙或叫他太太时，总是一贯地称呼 她甜心、糖梅、苹果派、蜜派、蜜露、清晨玫瑰、南瓜派等等， 伯纳相当感动地说：「天啊！你们真是太甜蜜了！结婚这么久， 你还叫她叫得这么甜，你们婚姻一定非常美满， 我真是为你高兴。」鲁宾回答：「嘘！小声一点，其实是我 三年前就已经忘了她的名字了！」

A Way to Express Opinion表达意见的方式

A Way to Express Opinion An actor was making his debut performance and invited a prominent director to watch his act, hoping that he would star him in his movies and make him famous. He put forth his best effort. After the performance, he came down from the stage and found that the director had dozed off! The new actor was extremely hurt and said to the director: "Let me tell you frankly, I invited you here because I have tremendous faith in you, yet you dozed off! Can't you see how important your opinion is to me?" The director answered: "Dozing off is also a way to express my opinion!" 有一个人，他第一次表演节目，所以请了一个很出名的 导演来看他的表演，看要不要录用他，让他将来能成 为大明星什么的。他在那边一直表演得辛苦，结束以后 他下台来，竟然看到导演在打瞌睡！那个新的演员非常、 非常伤心，他问导演：「我告诉你啊！我是很信任、 很信任你，才请你过来，结果你在那边打瞌睡！ 你不知道你的意见对我多么重要吗？」 然后那个导演就说：「打瞌睡也是一种意见啊！」

表白

我问禅师：“我暗恋一个女孩，今天520想去表白但是不敢说出口，怎么办啊？”禅师笑而不语，在纸上大大地写下follow yourheart几个词。我琢磨了后说：“禅师这是让我从心？鼓励我跟随心去告白吗？” 禅师摇了摇头说到：“不，我是在说你怂，算了吧！”

浪费还是节约

Father: Oh， Jack， you have slept away the whole morning. Don"t you know you are wasting time？ Jack: Yes， Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal， haven" I？ 父亲：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗？ 杰克：我知道，爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢，是不是？