英语笑话

We're Not Responsible不关我们的事

We're Not Responsible! There was a primary school teacher who took her students to see an art gallery. There everyone looked, looked and looked, and one student kept pulling the teacher's dress, saying, "Teacher, Teacher, I think we'd better get out of here quickly." And the teacher said, "Why is that?" So the student replied, "If we stay here longer, everyone will think that we were the students who did all these paintings." 不关我们的事 一位小学老师带学生去美术馆参观，大家在那里东看看、西看看， 其中一位学生却不停地拉着老师的衣服说：「老师，老师， 我们最好赶快离开这里。」老师问：「为什么？」学生回答： 「如果我们在这里待太久，人家会认为这些画都是我们这群学生画的。」

我是字母表中的第九个字母

I am the ninth letter of the alphabet Teacher: Give me a sentence starting with I, Tommy. Tommy: Yes, sir. I is... Teacher: No, no, Tommy! Don't say "I is", you should say "I am". Tommy: All right, sir. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. Teacher:…… 我是字母表中的第九个字母 老师：汤米，举个以“I”开始的例子。 汤米：是，老师。 I is（I是）…… 老师：不，不，汤米。不要说“I is”，你应该说“I am”。 汤米：好的，老师。我是字母表中的第九个字母。 老师：……？

A Thoughtful Gift好周到的礼物

A Thoughtful Gift A man went to Africa on a tour, and decided to buy a present for his friend in America. But everything was too expensive for him, just like at every tourist spot. So he bought a broken vase that cost almost nothing. He gave the address of his friend in America to the shopkeeper and asked the shop to wrap the vase and send it to that address. He thought that his friend might think that the vase was broken in the mail and would not blame him for being stingy. When he got home, he received a thank-you letter from his friend. The letter said: "Thank you very much for the broken vase. It was very thoughtful of you to wrap every broken piece in a sheet of paper." 好周到的礼物 有一个人去非洲旅游，他想买件礼物送给在美国的朋友， 但是就像所有的观光景点一样，那里每一样东西都卖得很贵。 最后他决定买了一个不值钱的破碎花瓶，然后他把美国朋友 的地址写给店主，请他把花瓶包好，寄到那个地址。他心想 那位朋友可能会以为花瓶是在邮寄途中被弄破的，就不会嫌他小气。 回家以后，他收到朋友的感谢函，信上写道： 「非常感谢你送我一个破花瓶，而且还把每个碎片分别 用纸包起来，真是设想周到！」

Just Ask the Boss老板最大

Just Ask the Boss There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There were three parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000. The customer asked the owner, “How come this guy is $5,000? That’s so expensive for this kind of parrot.” The owner said, “Because I have trained him and he can talk.” So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner said, “Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions, like dancing and so on. That’s why he’s so expensive.” Then the customer said, “How about the third one? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner of the shop said, “I don’t know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him ‘The Boss.’” 老板最大 有个人到一间商店买鹦鹉。店里有三只鹦鹉，其中一只卖五千元， 另一只卖一万元，还有一只卖三万元。顾客问老板：「为什么 这只要卖五千元？这个价钱对这种鹦鹉来说太贵了！」老板说： 「因为我有训练他讲话。」顾客又问：「那这只呢？他会做什么？ 为什么要卖这么贵？」老板说：「他除了会说话之外，还会表演 一些有趣的动作，好比说跳舞等等，所以才卖这么贵。」 顾客接着又问：「那第三只呢？他会做什么？为什么要卖这么贵？」 老板说：「我不知道。我从没听过他讲话、吹口哨或唱歌， 也没看过他跳舞，什么都没有！不过另外两只叫他：『老板！』」