英语笑话

The Feeling Is Mutual心照不宣

The Feeling Is Mutual There were two people who went together on a blind date. After a while, they were so bored. It was a very boring blind date. Suddenly a friend of his called him on the phone, so he stepped away from the table in the restaurant, went outside and talked with the friend for a while. After he came back, he said to his female blind date, “I’m sorry, my grandfather has died. I have to go.” So the woman, who was very understanding, said, ¨Oh, of course, of course! That’s very good because if your grandfather didn’t die, mine must die.” 心照不宣 有一对男女参加相亲约会，过了一会儿，他们感到好无聊， 这场相亲约会真是无聊透了。突然间，那个男的接到朋友 打来的电话，于是他起身离开餐桌，走到外面和那位朋友 谈了一会儿。他回去后，就向那位和他约会的女士说： 「真抱歉，我祖父过世了，我得走了。」那位女士深表 理解地说：「噢，当然、当然！太好了，如果不是你的 祖父死了，就得换我的祖父死了。」

Won't Feel Too Lonely不会孤单

Won't Feel Too Lonely There were two men who went out to eat together.They ordered about four fishes on the table; and the first man kept eating, eating,and eating to the third fish already. At the last fish on the plate, suddenly he realized,"I feel a little bit embarrassed already.Oh, please! You take." So, the other man said, "Oh, never mind.You take it that so they will be paired together, so that they won't feel too lonely!" 不会孤单 有两个人一同出去吃东西，他们桌上叫了四条鱼，一人不断地 吃、吃，已经吃了三条，最后只剩一条鱼在碟子上。当他突然发现 盘子上只剩一条鱼时，便感到有些尴尬，他说：「噢！请你吃吧！」 另外一个说：「噢！没关系，你吃，让它们成双成对， 以免它们会觉得太孤单。」

Concentration 专心

Concentration There was a man who went out to eat, he was also kind of very greedy, and when he came back, his wife asked him, "So, did you have a good time? Who was sitting at the table to eat with you today?" So, the man said, "I don't know. When I lifted my head they were all gone!" 专心 有一个很贪吃的人出去吃东西，当他回家，他的太太问他： 「好玩吗？今天你和谁坐同一桌？」那人回答：「我不知道，当我抬头时，他们都走了！」

What a Smart Wife家有笨妻

What a Smart Wife! A newly married woman was sitting on a chair, looking vexed, when her husband came home. "What's up? Why do you look so troubled?" the husband asked. The woman replied, "I'm so sorry. I was ironing your new suit and burned a hole in your trousers." And the man said, "That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same." "Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair,"the wife responded. 家有笨妻 有一个刚结婚的太太，坐在椅子那边，看起来很懊恼， 她先生回家看到她这个样子，就问：“嗨，你怎么啦？ 为什么看起来这么懊恼呢？”太太说：“很抱歉， 你那件新做的西装裤被我烫坏了，烫成一个洞了。” 他先生说：“啊！那个没关系啦！我还有另外一件一样的裤子。” 她说：“是啊，还好我把那件新的拿出来补那件被我烫坏的。”