英语笑话

谁是第一个男人？Who was the first Man?

A teacher said to her class: "Who was the first man?""George Washington," a little boy shouted promptly. "How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?"asked the teacher, smiling indulgently. "Because, " said the little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace,and first in the hearts of his countrymen."But at this point a larger boy held up his hand."Well," said the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man?""I don't know what his name was," said the larger boy, "but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am,because the history book says George Washington married a widow,so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him." 有个老师问班上的学生：“谁是第一个男人？” “乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。 “你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？”老师问道，宽容地微笑着。 小男孩说：“因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。” 这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。 “那么，”老师对他说，“你认为谁是第一个男人呢？” “我不知道他的名字，”大点儿的男孩说，“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿取了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。”

巧合 Coincidence

A woman was singing. One of the guest criticized the singer to the man beside him. "What a terrible voice." He said. "Do you know who she is?" "Yes." the man beside him answered. "She is my wife." "Oh, I'm sorry." he said. "Of course her voice is not bad, but the song is too bad. I wonder who wrote that awful song." "I did." said the man. 台上一个女士正在放声高歌，台下的一个听众跟他旁边的一个男人抱怨说， “这是什么嗓子啊？你知道她是谁吗？”那个男人回答，“她是我老婆。” “哦，抱歉，抱歉，我的意思是说她嗓子不差，就是曲子太难听了。我真是想不到谁会写出这么难听的曲子呢？” 那个男人回答，“是我写的！”

采购过早 Early Shopper

It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner."What are you charged with?" he asked. "Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. "That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?""Before the store opened," countered the prisoner. 那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉？”他问。“采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。 “这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早？”在商店开门之前，“犯人应道。

最好的奖赏 Best Reward

A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him. "The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows know I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in." 一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。“最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。”