英语笑话

A Small Boy and a Donkey小男孩与驴子

A small boy leading a donkey passed by an Army camp.A couple of soldiers wanted to have some fun with the lad. What are you holding onto your brother so tight for, sonny? asked one of them.So he won't join the army, the youngster replied without blinking an eye. 一个小男孩牵着头驴子穿过部队营房。两名士兵想跟小家伙开个玩笑：小孩，你把你哥哥牵得这么紧干什么？这样，他就不会去参军了。小家伙眼都不眨地回答道。

Two hunters两个猎人

Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?" 两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。 另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”

A physics Examination一次物理考试

Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls? Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears. 在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

雨伞 The Umbrella

A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put on the handle a card on which was written: "This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds. I shall be back in ten minutes." When he came back, he found, instead of his umbrella, another card on which was written,"This card belongs to a man who can run ten miles an hour. I shall not come back." 一位住在旅馆的绅士把他的雨伞放在了大厅里，不过他在伞柄上系了一张卡片，上面写道，“此伞属于一位能举百磅的绅士。我将在十分钟 内回来。当他回来时，发现雨伞已经不翼而飞，取而代之的是另一张卡片，上面写着：“此卡是一位一小时能跑十英里的人留下的，我将永远不回来。