减肥真的好暴力,不吃饭饿得想打别人,吃完饭又想打自己。
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不走出去,家就是你的世界,走出去,世界就是你的家。
If you don't go out, your home is your world; if you go out, the world is your home.
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生活二字,二十几年来回味得我大小脑抽搐,脊髓痉挛却始终不得要领。
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我建议大家对我的长相,理解为主,欣赏为辅。
I suggest that we should give priority to understanding and appreciate my appearance.
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病从口入,祸从口出,所以闭嘴最安全!
Illness comes from the mouth and misfortune comes from the mouth, so it is safest to shut up!
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我的生活可以用9个字概括,随薪所欲,薪尽自然凉。
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跟我结婚的话,你想洗碗就洗碗,想擦地就擦地,这还不够自由吗?
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懒惰有一点特别招人喜欢,那就是,不用学就会。
Laziness is especially liked, that is, you can learn without learning.
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为什么还要要求手机像素高,还嫌你丑得不够清晰吗?
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如果婚姻是爱情的坟墓,一年一次的结婚周年庆祝,便是在“扫墓”了。
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能不能借给我几百块钱,上次把钱借给你我就没有生活费了。
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朋友事业上获得突破,生活提升了档次,真替他高兴。不过要是能换成我,我会更高兴。
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因为你有双下巴,所以碰到任何困难,不要低头。
Because you have a double chin, don't bow your head when you encounter any difficulties.
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低情商说女生胖,她生气了,怎么起死回生?大神回复:你太胖了,卡在我心里出不去了!
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怎么有的人找对象要求能列几十条,我择偶标准就三个字:求你了。
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饿了不知道吃什么,想吃点爱情的苦。
I don't know what to eat when I'm hungry, but I want to suffer from love.
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我可以陪你熬夜,也会劝你早睡,但最好的状态是我们一起睡。
I can stay up late with you and advise you to go to bed early, but the best condition is that we sleep together.
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发现我最近近视越来越严重了,打开钱包竟然看不到钱了。
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偶尔对自己好些,偷个小懒,抽点小疯,花点小钱,不算伤天害理。