英语笑话

Not so fast 别那么急嘛

A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala（欢庆的） charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution. "Great idea!" the chicken cried."Let's offer hem1 ham and eggs?" "Not so fast," said the pig testily2. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment." 一只猪和一只鸡路过一所教堂，那里有一场盛大慈善活动正在进行着。 在精神上收到触动的猪向小鸡提出建议：他们每个人作出点自己的贡献。 “好主意！”鸡尖叫道，“让我们给腿和鸡蛋吧？” “着什么急”猪不耐烦地说，“对你来说，是一个贡献，对我来说，这是一个完全的献身。”

I Taught the Teacher 我教老师

Mother asked her little boy, Darling, what did the teacher teach you today? Nothing, Mum, answered the son proundly, instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told her three. 母亲问她年幼的儿子：宝贝，今天老师教了你些什么？ 儿子骄傲地说：什么都没教，妈妈。她反倒问我一加二等于几，我告诉她等于三。

点名

On my first day of classes at my university I took a front-row seat in my literature course. The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose. Then he ambled over to the lectern, took out his class book and began, "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook..." I was working feverishly to get down all the names when I felt a tap on my shoulder. The student in back of me whispered, "He's taking attendance." 大学的第一天，文学课我坐在了前排。教授告诉我们这学期必须得读五本书，他提供我们可供选择的作者名单。随后他缓步走上讲台，拿出课本，“贝克、布莱克、布鲁斯、卡特、库克…”为了写下所有的名字，我不得不疯狂的作着记录。这时有人轻轻的拍我肩膀，坐在我后面的学生悄悄告诉我：“他在点名呢。”

一笑而过英文版

你伤害了Word，还Excel而过，你Access的贪婪，我Outlook懦弱。One泪Note过，回忆是多Binder，只怪自己Mail你PowerPoint。