英语笑话

Put your feet in把脚放进去

The school girl was sitting with her feet streched far out into the aisle ,and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. "Mary !" called the teacher sharply. "Yes,Madam?" questioned the pupil , "Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!" 一个女学生坐在座位上，嘴里起劲地嚼着口香糖，脚却伸到课桌间的走道里，被老师发现了。“玛丽！”老师严厉地叫她。“什么事，老师？”这女学生问。“把口香糖从嘴里拿出来，把脚放进去。”

The Choice of Word选词

One day, John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said "Da-Dy" to the baby many times. John felt very happy because he thought his wife chose the word "Dady" to teach their baby. During one night several weeks later, John and his wife were waken up by the cry "Dady". His wife said to him, "Darling, she is calling you." Then she turned to sleep. 一天下班回家，约翰发现妻子在摇半岁的女儿，嘴里反复念道：“爸-爸。”约翰心里感到美滋滋的，他的妻子选择了“爸爸”这个词首先教孩子。 几周后的一天夜里，约翰和妻子被一阵哭声惊醒了，“爸-爸！”“她在叫你，亲爱的。”妻子说，然后翻身竟自睡了。

Who is Stupid 谁愚蠢

A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" Little Johnny then stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!" 一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。 小约翰尼站了起来。 “你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？”老师问。 “不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”

几月走的

When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, "When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect. The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, "Which month did he go away?" 杰克给人鞠躬，飞快地一点头，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂礼貌。于是便有好心的人教他说，“下次鞠躬的时候，你就在心里数：正月、二月、……一直数到十二月为止，然后再直起身来。这样，礼节就周全了。” 第二天，杰克见到他的叔叔，他便如法炮制。这躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一惊，赶紧逃开了。杰克抬头一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便问过路人：“我叔叔几月走的？”