英语笑话

Only one piece of meat 只有一块肉

Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish. Waiter:Just a moment, sir and I'll cut it in two. 顾客：服务员，我盘子里怎么只有一块肉？ 服务员：先生，请稍候，我去把它切成两块。

An ingenious idea 一个好办法

A man told the doctor that his wife had lost her voice and asked what he could do about it. The doctor said, "Try getting home late some night. It's good method." 有个人对医生说他的妻子不说话了，问他该怎么办。 医生说：“你试试哪天晚上很晚才回家吧。这是个好办法。”

No matter 没关系

A well-dressed woman got on a bus. She handed a ten-dollar note to the drive and said: "Sorry, I have no nickels." The driver took the note and said: "It doesn't matter, lady, You would soon get back 199 nickels." 一个穿着很考究的女人上了 一部公共汽车。她拿出一张10美元的钞票给司机，说：“对不起，我没有硬币。” 司机接过钞票时说：“没关系，太太，你很快就会取回199个硬币的。”

Response 回应

Frequent hand-washing in my job as a medical technologist and the harsh1 Alaskan weather combined to give me very dry skin. One night as I prepared for bed, I rubbed my hands with petroleum2 jelly3 and covered them with a pair of old white gloves. As I sat in bed reading a book with my gloves on, my husband finished showering and came into the room. Drying himself off, he went to the closet, selected a tie and began putting it on. "What are you doing?" I asked. "Well," he replied, "if you're going to be formal, so am I." 我是一名医药技师，频繁的洗手以及阿拉斯加恶劣的天气，让我的皮肤十分干燥。一天晚上，我在休息前用凡士林膏抹了抹手，并带上了一副旧的白手套。 我坐在床上看书，手上还戴着白手套，丈夫洗完澡进了卧室。擦干身子之后，他走到壁橱前，选了一条领带开始扎上。 “你这是干什么？”我问。 “噢，”他回答，“如果你想正式一点，那我只有这样做了。”