杂

I was twenty years old, and I wouldn't let anyone say it was the best age of my life.

那时我二十岁，我不许任何人说这是人生中最美的年纪。

The final boast was: What the hell, I'm going to live.

最后的豪言壮语是：管它呢，我总要活下去。

The door of my heart is not locked, the handle is a sharp knife, the doorbell rings I do not open, I am waiting, waiting for a knife in the palm of the lunatics break in.

我的心门没上锁，把手是把锋利的刀子，门铃响了我不开，我在等，在等毫不犹豫让刀嵌入手心的疯子闯进来。

（我们总是喜欢义无反顾的爱）

I will call upon you in the evening, and repeat this despair.

我还是要在傍晚的时候去看看你，把这绝望再重复一遍。

Maybe in different seasons will fall in love with different flowers.

也许在不同的季节会爱上不同的花。

I am not unhappy, I actually quite happy, and friends go out to dry food, play, watch movies, watch funny videos, I can laugh, but these are not really let me feel happy things, it is like knee jerk reaction, touch me will laugh, but the end of the smile, even in most of the time, I and happy, but will feel more tired.

我也不是不快乐，我其实挺快乐的，和朋友出去干饭，玩，看电影，刷搞笑视频，我都能笑岔过气去，但这些都不是真正让我感受到快乐的东西，它就像膝跳反应一样，碰我一下就会笑，但笑完就结束了，甚至在大部分时候，我再与快乐之外，反而会觉得更加疲惫。

It breaks my heart, and they're talking about perpetual motion machines.

我的心都要碎了，他们却在讨论永动机。

You say you like rain. I want to take you back to the Hadean Eon before 4 billion. There was no sea then.

你说你喜欢下雨，我好想带你回到40亿面前的冥古宙，那时还没有海，我们一起在将持续百万年的大雨中狂奔。

The scariest thing about insomnia is not being able to fall asleep without being tired, but the irreversible progression to something even more serious: forgetting. In other words, as the sufferer gets used to being sleepless, he or she begins to forget childhood memories, then names and concepts, and finally personal identities, to the point where he or she loses himself and becomes an idiot without a past.

失眠症最可怕之处不在于毫无倦意不能入睡，而是会不可逆转地恶化到更严重的境地：遗忘。也就是说，患者慢慢习惯了无眠的状态，就开始淡忘童年的记忆，继之以事物的名称和概念，最后是个人的身份，以至失去自我，沦为没有过往的白痴。