作者大大存稿不足了！把剩下的存稿写完差不多就到一万字了！
作者大大加油！奥利给！
作者大大结尾有惊喜哟！
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1.我没洗澡你叫我臭宝，我洗了你叫我乡巴佬。
I didn't take a shower. You called me a stinker. I wrote you called me a hillbilly.
2.打工好累，但我不能哭。因为我骑电动车的时候，擦眼泪不安全。
Working is very tired, but I can't cry, because when riding an electric car, it is not safe to wipe tears.
3.时间告诉我，无理取闹的年龄早就过了，到了该装B的时候了。
Time tells me that the age of unreasonable has passed, and it is time to pretend to be forced.
4.我妈说我并不是一无所有，我还有脸回家。
My mom says I don't have nothing. I have the face to go home.
5.谁能想到现在发说说的完美女孩，竟然没有对象。
Who would have thought the perfect girl to talk about right now wouldn't have a date.
6.装漂亮好累，幸好我是真漂亮。
Pretend to be beautiful, so tired! It's a good thing I'm beautiful.
7.装酷真的没用，碰到喜欢的。我就想直接拖到天牢里关起来，每天给他送饭吃。
It's really useless to pretend to be cool. When I meet someone I like, I want to drag it directly to the prison and send him food every day.
8.有空的时候。帮我研究一下我为什么这么可爱啊啊啊！
Help me study why I am so cute when you are free!
9.有些人的聊天记录一翻全是情话暖言，我的聊天记录一翻全是作业答案。
Some people's chat records are all warm words, and my chat records are all homework answers.
10.我想把房子卖了养你，可是房东不肯。
I want to sell the house and support you, but the landlord won't.
11.什么叫成功？马云都没有我的QQ，而你有。
What is success? Ma Yun doesn't even have my qq, but you do.
12.聪明绝顶的我再也没有用过梳子。
Brilliant. I never used the comb again.
13.一定要记住晚上陪你聊天的人，就是因为他们，才让你长痘痘。
It is important to remember that the people who chat with you at night are because they make you acne.
14.天冷了，你穿的再多，要是心里没有我，还是冻死你算了。
It's getting cold. No matter how much you wear, if you don't have me in your heart, you can still freeze to death.
15.你要知道现在处对象这么难的话，我当初就不拒绝刘昊然了。
Do you want to know the object is so difficult now, I didn't refuse Liu Haoran.
16.如果你的女朋友太美了，你怕她沾花惹草怎么办？换我也没用，我更美。
If you see your girlfriend too What do you do if you're afraid of him getting in trouble? It's no use changing me. I'm more beautiful.
17.打算去欧洲玩半个月。想请教去过的朋友，你们钱是从哪里来的？
I plan to go to Europe to play for half a month. I would like to ask my friends who have been there. Where did your money come from?
18.借问酒家何处有,牛马倒拔垂杨柳。
Ask where there are cattle and horses in the restaurant, and pull out the weeping willows.
19.我这个人就喜欢藏着掖着,所以我有九个对象，你一个也不知道。
I like to hide it, so I have nine objects, and you don't know any of them.
20.听说走路玩手机容易被车撞，吓坏我了，于是我跑着玩儿。
I heard that walking with a mobile phone is easy to be hit by a car, it scares me, I Run to play.
21.哦，亲爱的上帝，去年我向您许的愿望是脱单，您似乎好像听错了，并不是脱发。
Oh, dear God, last year I asked you a lot of wishes is to take off the single, you seem to listen to the wrong, not hair loss.
22.每次看到情侣在树上刻下自己的名字，我就会陷入深深的沉思，为什么他们这么多人都要带刀去约会呢？
Every time I see a couple carve their name in a tree. I will fall into the deep city. Why do so many people take knives on dates?
23.物理老师说:“学物理的一定要找好对象，找错了,会一直错。”
The physics teacher said that you must find a good object to learn physics. I made a mistake. I've been wrong.
24.所有人都关心你冷不冷，饿不饿，只有我不一样，我不关心你。
Everyone cares about whether you are cold or not, hungry or not, only I am different, I don't care about you.
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搞笑段子:
1.
我秦始皇，2269岁，不凶，会打游戏，会陪你熬夜，24小时不闭眼的那种，不抽烟，不喝酒，不社会，宠姐姐宠妹妹，人不冷，好相处，笑点超低，有时开心了还会送你两只兵马俑,cpdd吗？
I, Qin Shihuang, 2269 years old, not fierce, can play games, stay up late with you, don't close my eyes for 24 hours, don't smoke, don't drink, don't be social, spoil my sister, people are not cold, easy to get along with, laugh too low, sometimes I will send you two terracotta warriors and horses, cpdd
2.
班长:去炸学校。副班长:好呀好呀!ª化学学霸负责提炼氢元素ª物理学霸负责拼装氢弹ª数学学霸负责计算爆炸范围ª地理学霸负责策划爆破地点ª历史学霸负责记录辉煌场面ª英语学霸负责把历史学霸写的翻译到国外ª生物学霸负责事后生态环境ª政治学霸负责善后打官司ª语文学霸负责写文章推卸责任ª体育学霸负责百米投弹ª音乐学霸负责演奏哀乐ª美术学霸负责画学校遗照ªªª其余同学负责欢迎雀跃ªªª正道的光照在了大地上ªªª
然后，鲁迅直接来了一句，好家伙。
Monitor: Go to bomb the school. Vice monitor: Yes, yes! Chemistry Xueba is responsible for refining hydrogen. Physics Xueba is responsible for assembling hydrogen bombs. Mathematics Xueba is responsible for calculating explosion range. Geography Xueba is responsible for planning blasting site. History Xueba is responsible for recording brilliant scenes. English Xueba is responsible for translating history Xueba's writing to foreign biology Xueba. Ecological environment politics Xueba is responsible for the aftermath of the lawsuit. Chinese Xueba is responsible for writing articles and shirking responsibility. Sports Xueba is responsible for 100 meters bombing music Xueba is responsible for playing Aile Fine Arts Master is responsible for painting the school photos, and the rest of the students are responsible for welcoming the light of the right path. Then Lu Xun came directly to say, boy. [Hot Terrier Series _ Dog Head to Save Life]
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作者特在此，凡助我者，颂我真名，必将得无上天尊点化，诸事顺利，心想必成。CVCV前排，祝话本小说里的女孩子:倾国倾城、沉鱼落雁、闭月羞花、人间尤物、出尘脱俗、白璧无瑕、眉目如画、花容月貌、貌美如花、如花似玉、冰清玉洁、冰雪聪明、娇艳如花、娇艳欲滴、祝话本小说里的男孩子:娶到这样的女孩子！
作者大大好了！今天先更到这里了！
作者大大我得去准备稿子了！
作者大大明天见！
作者大大拜拜啦！
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