憨里憨气搞笑文案

作者大大1.地球这么大，没有我的六室三厅二厨三卫一个后花园外加一个游泳池。The earth is so big, without my six bedrooms, three living rooms, two kitchens, three bathrooms, a back garden and a swimming pool.

作者大大2.做人要讲信用，既然我说了每天要早睡 那就要天天说。To be a man, you must be creditworthy. Since I said I must go to bed early every day, I have to say it every day.

作者大大3.刚进手术室，医生问我是全麻还是半麻，我说:微辣。When I first entered the operating room, the doctor asked me whether I was general anesthesia or semi-anesthesia, and I said: Slightly spicy.

作者大大4.不要圆滑，要变成星星，有棱有角，还会发光。Don't be sleek, be stars, have edges and corners, and shine.

作者大大5.不笑运气太差，一笑脸就变大。It's too bad not to laugh, and the smile becomes bigger.

作者大大6.希望所有事，都像长胖一样简单。I hope everything is as simple as gaining weight.

作者大大7.今天摸了摸我对象的胡子，有点扎手，或许这就是扎男吧。I touched my subject's beard today, and it was a bit pierced. Maybe this is the piercing man.

作者大大8.女孩子要稍微做一点坏事，然后老天爷一生气，就会给你：发个小伙。The girl has to do a little bit of evil, and then when God gets angry, he will give you: Send a guy.

作者大大9.跟男朋友分手了，他气得夺门而出，我追了他八条街，才把门抢了回来。I broke up with my boyfriend. He was so angry that he ran out of the door. I chased him eight streets before snatching the door back.

作者大大10.正义都能迟到，为什么我上学不能迟到？Justice can be late, why can't I be late for school?

作者大大11.泡面需要三分钟，而泡你我需要吃三年泡面。It takes three minutes to make instant noodles, and to soak you and I need to eat instant noodles for three years.

作者大大12.去庙里抽签，抽了个凶，于是扔掉又抽了一次，大吉，因为命运掌握在自己手里。Go to the temple to draw lots, draw a fierce one, then throw it away and draw again, good luck, because fate is in my own hands.

作者大大14.我承受了这个年纪不该有的饭量。I have endured the appetite that I should not have at this age.

作者大大15.我坦白，我整过容，我的肚子是隆的，双下巴是割的，腿还填充了脂肪。I confess, I have had plastic surgery, my belly is bulging, my double chin is cut, and my legs are filled with fat.

作者大大16.太礼貌也不是什么好事，刚刚被人踩了一脚，我习惯性地说了谢谢。It’s not a good thing to be too polite. I just got stepped on a foot and I habitually said thank you.

作者大大17.别人一夸我，我就感到局促不安，因为我总觉得，他们夸我夸得还不够。When others praise me, I feel embarrassed, because I always feel that they do not praise me enough.

作者大大18.他要是真的想守护你，那为什么你家楼下的保安不是他?If he really wants to protect you, why isn't the security guard downstairs in your house not him?

作者大大19.以前我一只手玩手机一只手骑电动车，现在我不玩了，两只手都用来推轮椅。I used to play with a mobile phone with one hand and ride an electric bike with the other, but now I don’t play, and both hands are used to push the wheelchair.

作者大大20.朋友一直劝我嫁个有钱人，搞笑，不要劝我了好吗？去劝有钱人啊，我愿意啊！！Friends have been persuading me to marry a rich man, funny, don’t persuade me, okay? Go and persuade the rich, I am willing! !

作者大大21.月老，麻烦下次为我牵红线的时候能换成钢丝吗？红线老他妈断。Yue Lao, can I change to a steel wire next time I pull the red thread for me? The red thread is broken.

作者大大22.钱能不能买到快乐，我不知道，但是我很快乐，能卖钱吗？Can money buy happiness, I don't know, but I am very happy, can I sell money?

作者大大23.自从看了快手，我在街上看到乞丐都绕道走，生怕得罪哪个上市公司的总裁。Ever since I watched Kuaishou, I saw beggars on the street taking detours for fear of offending the president of a listed company.

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