英语笑话

I've come to install the phone我是来装电话的

A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone." 一个年轻人刚刚开始做生意，就租了一个漂亮的办公室。一天，他坐在办公室里，看到有一个人在外面，于是他就装作生意很忙的样子，拿起电话胡吹乱侃，还不停的甩出几个大数字，好像在谈一笔大买卖。到了最后，他终于挂了电话，问来访的人，“有事儿嘛？”那个人回答，“我是来给你安装电话的。”

An economical budget节俭预算

I was working at a booth at the Los Angeles Home and Garden Show.Next to me was a woman demonstrating a shower saver. As she was telling a passer-by the qualities of the device, she mentioned that it saved 25000 gallons of water a year. The man stood as if deep in thought. Finally, the woman asked if he had any questions."No," he replied. "I am just trying to figure out where I'll store all the water." 我在洛杉矶一家卖家庭和花园用具的摊棚工作。 我隔壁摊位的女士说卖沐浴节水器的，当她向一位过路人推销淋浴电器时，她提到了这个节水器每年可省下2.5万加仑的水。那位过路人站在那里好像深思什么。最后，摊主问他有什么问题没有。“没有”，他说：“我只是在想我把这些节省下来的水储存到哪儿去呢？”

A proof证明

A man came1 to a village post office for a registered2 letter. The letter was3 there, but the clerk4 did5 not give it to the man. "How can I know that the letter is for you?" he asked.The man took6 a photo of himself7 from his pocket8, and said9, "I think now you know who I am?"The clerk looked long at the photo and then said, "Yes, that is you. Here is your letter." 一个人去乡村邮电所取挂号信。 信来了，可工作人员却不给他。“我怎么知道这信是你的？”工作人员说。这人从口袋里拿出自己的一张照片，说，“我想你知道我是谁了吧？”工作人员看了一会说：“这的确是你，信给你吧！”

Wear Socks穿袜子

Mum: Look at your socks. One is short, the other is long. You must have put on the wrong ones.Xiaodong: I am not wrong. I look at there others1 socks. One is short and the other is long, too. 妈妈：小东，看你的袜子一只长，一只短，你肯定穿错了。小东：没错啊！我刚才看过剩下的两只也是一只长，一只短。