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约翰尼德普

嘿! Coffee place, Joey is there, Chandler is entering

嘿! Chandler: Hey

莫妮卡呢? Joey: Hey. So where's Mon?

她在家，为瑞秋的生日晚会 Chandler: Oh, she's at home, putting up decorations for Rachel's birthday party

布置房间. tonight.

你不帮忙? Joey: And you're not helping?

我逼尖嗓子唱女人的歌， Chandler: I tried, but apparently singing "I will survive" in a helium voice - not

她说我帮倒忙 helping.

嘿，大家好! (Ross and Rachel enter with Emma in Rachel's hands)

嘿! Ross: Hey you guys!

祝你生日快乐~ Joey and Chandler:(start to sing) Hey! Happy birthday ...

嘘~嘘~ Rachel: Shhh don't say that loud, Gunther's gonna want to hug me.

小声点. 阿甘会过来拥抱我的. Ross: Uh, good news everyone, we finally found a nanny. This is Molly (points to

各位，好消息哦! Molly). Molly, Chandler, Joey.

我们终于找到保姆了. 她就是茉莉. Joey and Chandler: Hi.

茉莉 -- 这是钱德和乔伊 Molly: Hi.

嗨! (Emma starts to cry)

嗨! Ross: Ooh, somebody's getting a little fussy.

呜... 小东西在抗议了. Joey: You damn right I am, I've been waiting for a cookie for 7 minutes.

不抗议才怪! Rachel: Ok, you know what, I'm just gonna take her outside.

我等小甜饼都几分钟了. Molly: No, you stay, I'll do it (takes Emma from Rachel).

ok，我把她抱到外面去. Rachel: OK, thank you.

哦，让我来吧. Molly: Nice to meet you guys (to Chandler and Joey).

好的，谢谢 Joey: Yeah, you too.

很高兴见到你们. (Molly leaves)

是的,我们也很高兴. Rachel: Oh, wow, Molly is just great!

噢 , 茉莉太棒了 Ross: Yeah.

是的 Chandler: Yes, Bravo on the hot nanny.

好的，为靓保姆欢呼。 Rachel: What? You really think she's hot?

什么? 你真的觉得她很美? Chandler: Are you kidding? If I wasn't married she'd be rejecting me right now.

你开玩笑? 要是我未婚， Rachel: And Joey?

现在你已经看到她在拒绝我了 Joey: How do you think she's doing?

那么, 乔伊呢? Rachel: Am I the only one who doesn't think that she's hot? Ross?

你们看她 Ross: Eh, I mean, I mena she's not unattractive but hot? I ....

是不是只有我 Rachel: Thank you! (goes to get coffee)

才觉得她一般，罗斯, Chandler: Now that Rachel's gone?

她还可以……不过 靓? 算不上 Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their

谢谢 hands)

瑞秋走了 OPENING CREDITS

太靓了，昨晚我激动得哭着睡去 Scene:

菲比养老鼠 Mike and Phoebe in Phoebe's place, Phoebe is doing a crossword puzzle

秘鲁的首都? Phoebe: Hey Mike, what's the capital of Peru?

利马(正确的) Mike: Lima.

错 Phoebe: No. It starts with a "v" and ends with an "x". Helpfully with a "to" in the

v开头、x结尾 middle.

中间有可能是“to”. Mike: You know, kinda think of it, the capital of Peru IS "vtox". (opens the

对哦, 秘鲁的首都，的确是 "VTOX". kitchen cabinet) Oh god! Oh!

1/10页

哦! 天啊! Phoebe: What?

什么, Mike: OK, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I think I just saw a rat in

我不想吓你 your cupboard.

但柜子里有只老鼠 Phoebe:(relived) Oh, whew, no, that's Bob.

噢, 是鲍勃. Mike: What, is he your pet rat?

你的宠物老鼠? Phoebe: Well not so much a pet as, you know, an occasional visitor who I put

算不上宠物啦，是稀客， food out for, you know. Kinda like Santa. Except Santa doesn't poop on the plate

我不时招待它一点食物 of cookies.

它有点象圣诞老人. Mike: You can't keep a rat in your appartment! They're extremely unsanitary, and

不过，圣诞老人不会 they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus.

在饼盘里上大号. Phoebe: What are those?

怎能在家养老鼠～极不卫生 Mike: I don't know but they don't sound like spa treatments. You have to get rid

它们会传播细螺旋体病和汉塔病毒。 of it!

是些什么病毒? Phoebe: OK, fine, if it means that much to you I'll get rid of Bob.

不知道,总之不像温泉疗养. Mike: Thank you.

你得除掉它们. Phoebe: So weird, you think he's so gross and you're willing to eat his crackers.

ok, 好吧! (Mike throws out everything in his mouth)

要是你真的反感它， Scene:

我就除掉鲍勃. Rachel's office, Rachel comes in and Gavin is there

谢谢 Rachel: Hello.

真奇怪，你那么厌恶它， Gavin: Hello

居然还吃得津津有味. Rachel: Gavin, I just wanted to say thank you again for watching Emma 好啊! yesterday during the presentation. I really owe you an apology.

你也好! Gavin: For what?

加文, 昨天我开会时你帮我照看艾玛 Rachel: Well, when we first met, you know, I thought you were pompous and

真是谢谢你啊 arrogant and obnoxious ...

我真的很抱歉. Gavin: Is this your first apology?

为什么? Rachel: No, I just mean that, you know, first impressions don't mean anything.

哦，我们初次见面 And I-I think you're a really good guy and I'm sorry that I misjudged you.

我认为你华而不实,傲慢并且很讨厌 (Heather walks in)

这就是你的道歉? Heather: Good morning!

不是, 我只是想说 Rachel: Hello. (to Gavin) But you know what, hey, new day, new leaf, I am just 第一印象并不说明问题. really really happy ... (sees Gavin staring at Heather) I'm sorry, obviously

你很不错 Heather's ass has something more important to say so I'll just wait 'till it's

我很抱歉误会了你. finished.

早上好 ! Gavin: What?

新的一天，新的气象. Rachel: I was giving you an apology and you were totally checking her out!

我真的很高兴 Gavin: I wasn't checking her out. I'm in fashion, I was looking at her skirt. Or

抱歉，Heather的臀部显然 was it pants? I didn't really see what happened below the ass area.

有更重要的事情要说 Rachel: Oh wow, you are really, you're really a creep.

我等它说完先. Gavin: Why do you even care if I was looking at her? Are you jealous?

什么, Rachel: Oh yeah, I'm jealous. "Oh Gavin, please, please look at my ass". (Gavin

我在向你道歉，而你却在偷看她! starts looking) Stop looking at my ass! I mean, I just think you are totally

我没有, 我是时装业者， inappropriate, ok? This is a work environment, she's your subordinate.

我只是在看她的裙子. Gavin: I thought it was ok when you slept with your old assistant Tag.

好像是裤子 ? Rachel: That is totally different for two reasons. One - I didn't know that you

我没看清屁股以下的部分 knew that. And two, I wasn't some creep staring at his ass, we had a deap

你-真-恶-心 meaningful relationship.

你管我看什么, Gavin: Huh. What's Tag's last name?

你嫉妒了? Rachel: It was ... (can't remember) oh my god. He didn't have a last name. It was

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是，我就是嫉妒 just "Tag". You know, like Cher, or, you know, Moses.

加文, 求你看我的臀部吧. Gavin: But it was a deap meaningful relationship.

不准看! Rachel: Oh, you know what - my first impression of you was absolutely right. 我是说，你的做法很不合适 You are arrogant, you are pompous ... Morgan! Morgan! Tag's last name was

这是工作场所. Morgan! Huh!

她是你的下属. Gavin: It was Jones.

你和前助手泰格睡觉 Rachel: Yeah well what are you, his boyfriend?

就合适了, Scene:

两回事～原因有二: Coffee place, Molly holding Emma and talking to Joey

其一，我不知道你知情 Joey: Man, I wish I had a nanny like you.

其二，我并非恶心的盯着他的屁股看 Molly: You mean, when you were a baby.

我们的关系是深层次，有内涵的. Joey: Sure.

哼... 泰格姓什么? (Chandler is staring at Molly)

他姓 ... Monica: Would you stop staring at her?

哦，我的天! Chandler: I wasn't staring. I was leering.

我...他没有姓只有名. Monica: What's the big deal with her? Maybe she's attractive in an obvious kind

他就叫，就叫泰格，你也知道. of way.

就象, 象谢尔, 或者 ... Ross: Yeah, obvious beauty's the worst. You know, when it's right there in your

你知道, 摩西. face. Me, I like to have to work to find someone attractive. Makes me feel like I

的确是深层次，有内涵的关系. earned it.

噢, 我对你的第一印象 Chandler: Looks like Joey is doing allright with her.

绝对是正确的～ Monica: Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl

你很傲慢，你很华而不实. for once.

摩根! 摩根! Molly:(to Ross) I'm gonna take her back to the apartment.

泰格姓摩根, 哈! Ross: Ok, I'll be home right after work. Ok, by Emma-Wemma-Demma, I love

他姓琼斯. you - wovyou dovyou ...

哼, 你是谁, 他的男朋友? Molly: Bye

我希望我有一个你这样的保姆. Monica: They've elected me to talk to you about the baby talk - it's not so good.

你意思你还是小孩的时候. Molly: I think it's sweet. (goes to leave)

当然! Ross, Joey and Chandler: Bye, Emma-Wemma-Demma.

你可不可以不盯着她看 ? Rachel:(to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go

我没有盯着看 ...我只是瞟了几眼! after her.

她有什么了不起的 ? Joey: Why not?

她的外表，也许的确诱人 Rachel: Because it took us months to find a good nanny and I wouldn't want

是啊，外在美算什么 anything to, you know, drive her away.

太肤浅 Joey: So, what, you think I'm just gonna sleep with her and never call her again 我宁愿努力去发掘别人的内在美， and things are gonna get uncomfortable? (thinks about it) Yeah, sounds about

这样他的美便有我的功劳 right.

看来乔伊和她相处甚欢 Ross: Come on, there are plenty of other women out thereok? Just - just forget

真难得，这次你们俩 about her, ok? Just, she's off limits.

不反对乔伊泡妞 Joey: Oh, man, why did have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't

我带她回家. have it makes me want her even more!

好, 我下了班马上回家. Ross: What are you, a child?

Ok Joey: Yes!

拜拜, 艾玛玛 Ross: Joey, come on now, for me! Please, just-just try to focus your sexual energy

我爱~你. on someone else.

他们让我告诉你 Joey: Fine. (looks around, then focuses on Monica)

不要跟宝宝讲儿语 Monica:(to Chandler) Take me home! (they quickly leave)

这样不正确 Scene:

不是啊, 我觉得很可爱哦. Phoebe's place, Phoebe and Mike are there

3/10页

拜拜, 艾玛玛 Phoebe: Hey Mikey

乔伊, 恩... Mike: Hey P

我真的很希望你 Phoebe: What are you doing?

不要追茉莉 Mike: Setting rat traps.

为什么? Phoebe: To kill Bob??

因为我们花了几个月， Mike: No, no, to test his neck strength.

才找到一个好保姆. Phoebe: No, Mike, I don't want to kill him! I thought we were just gonna capture

不愿她因为任何变故而离开 him and, and you know, set him free in the country side where he can maybe meet

你怕我对她始乱终弃， a friendly possum and a wisecracking owl.

让她工作得不愉快, Mike: Ok, ok, I'll throw away the traps.

对喔，我的确可能这样. Phoebe: I'll find Bob, I'll get him. Bob? (starts looking) Bob! Robert! (looks at

算了吧，天涯何处无芳草 cabinet under sink) Oh wait, I think I hear him. Oh - Oh my god! Bob had babies!

何必单恋她这一枝花 Bob's a mom!

老兄! 你何必劝我? Mike: Better think of a new name for him.

现在好了，来自你的阻力 Phoebe: I don't know, I kinda like Bob for a girl.

反成了我的动力～ Mike: I don't know, I mean I'm not sure (they hear cracking voice from 你多大了? 还是小孩? somewhere else in the kitchen, probably a rat caught in a trap) ...

就是～ Phoebe: Oh my god, we killed Bob!

乔伊，算了吧，就算为了我! Mike: Maybe it wasn't Bob, maybe it was a mouse.

求你, 转移性趣，好吧 Phoebe: Suzie? (Runs over there to check)

好吧. Scene:

带我回家! Mon and Chan's, Ross enters

嘿, 迈克! Ross:(funny voice) Whazzup???

嘿, 菲比! Chandler: Seriously dude, 3 years ago.

你在忙什么? Ross: Listen, can you do me a favor? I'm gonna be out today. Can you just keep

安捕鼠夹. an eye on Joey, make sure nothing happens between him and Molly?

你要杀鲍勃? Chandler: You don't trust him?

不, 只是看看它脖子粗不粗 Ross: Wh - No. Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier and

迈克，我不想杀它. asked for her daughter, the "hot nanny".

我本想抓到它以后 Chandler: Is this really your long term plan, for me to run interference? Because

就把它放生到乡下去 I could get a job any day now.

也许它可以遇到 Ross: You do appear right on the cusp of something. Come on man, I'm sure he'll

友好的负鼠啊， lose interest in a week or two, but for now can you please just do this for me?

会讲俏皮话的猫头鹰啊. Chandler: All right, fine, but don't blame me if it doesn't work. Because you

好吧, 我把捕鼠夹收起来. know as well as I do that once Joey sets his mind on something, more often than

好的, 我来找鲍勃. not, he's going to have sex with it.

鲍勃! 鲍勃! Ross: Well we gotta do something, ok? Nannies like her don't grow on trees.

罗伯特! (pause)

等等! 我听到它声音了. Chandler: Picturing that tree?

哦，天啊! 鲍勃有小孩了. Ross: I am, yes.

鲍勃当妈妈了! Scene:

我们得给她换个新名字了. Hallway, Joey get out of his apartment and Chandler jumps out of his

哦，母的也可以叫鲍勃嘛 Chandler: Where you going, Joe?

我不确定 (Joey falls on floor and gets up)

哦，天啊，我们杀死了鲍勃 Joey: For a walk.

也许那不是鲍勃， Chandler: Oh. You mind if I join you?

只是一般的老鼠 Joey: Actually, that will be long. You know, I really need to organize my 苏西? thoughts.

哇撒(好吗)? Chandler: Your thoughts? Plural?

正经点，我都结婚三年了 Joey: All right, fine, I only have one thought! It's about the hot nanny, I gotta see

4/10页

可以帮我一个忙么, her!

我今天要出门 Chandler: I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Joe.

你能帮我看着点乔伊吗, Joey: Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are killing me! She's

确保他不会招惹茉莉 forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy ... Why

你不信任他么, are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there?

当然不～ Chandler: Yes, as a matter of fact he did, so I can't let you go.

有个声音酷似乔伊的“女人”， Joey: Huh. Interesting. Now there are obstacles. Hot nanny and me against the

打电话来找“她”的女儿， world. This is the kind of stuff great novels are made of.

那个“靓保姆”～ Chandler: Great novels?

要我长期管教他 ? Joey: Fine ... mediocre porn

我随时都可能找到工作. Scene:

你的确很抢手 Rachel's office, Rachel and Gavin there, phone rings, Gavin picks it up

老兄，我肯定他过一两周 Gavin: Gavin Mitchelle's office.

就失去兴趣了 Rachel: Rachel Green's office!! Give me that phone! (takes the phone) Hello, this

但是今天，你可以留神点么, is Rachel Green, how can I help you? Uh huh ... ok then ... I'll pass you back to

好吧，但如果管不住他， your son (gives phone to Gavin)

别怪我 Gavin: Hey Mom! No, that's just my secretary. (Rachel is upset)

你我都清楚 Rachel: Um, excuse me Gavin, I have a question I need to ask you.

只要乔伊开始打小算盘， Gavin: Mom, I'll call you later. Yeah. (hangs up)(to Rachel) Yes?

他多半能得手 Rachel: If you like looking at butts so much why don't you just go look at a

好的，我们总得采取措施，对吧, mirror?

象她这样的保姆，天上掉不下来 Gavin: Thank god you finally said that, I saw you make a note on your pad three

在想“天上掉保姆”的盛况? hours ago. (Rachel throws away that paper) Man, I really bug you, don't I?

是的 Rachel: Oh, please, I don't care about you enough to bug me. In fact, from now

你要去哪，乔, on, I'm going take the high road. And I'm going be very very nice to you, you

散散步 "momma's boy", starting right now.

哦，介意我一起么, (door knock, Monica enters)

说实话，可能我想单独呆呆 Monica: Hey Rach!

我想我真的需要理理头绪了 Rachel: Hi!

你的头绪, Monica: Ready for your birthday lunch?

不止一个, Rachel: Yeah I am, I am! Oh, but first of all, Monica, I would like to introduce

好吧，饶了我吧，我就一个念头 you to my very talented colleague and more importantly my wonderful friend

就是那个靓保姆，我想见她 Gavin Mitchelle.

恐怕我不能放任你这么做 Gavin: Pleased to meet you.

你也不准,你们要我命啊～ Monica: Pleased to meet you. So you're coming to Rachel's party tonight?

她成了禁果了～就象，象。。。 Rachel: Oh no no no no no, Gavin can't, he already has plans, most likely with 她是公主而我是马夫 his mother.

你为什么管我，恩, Gavin: Well I don't mind, I'll cancel. I would never miss my secretary's birthday.

是不是罗斯让你监视我的, (leaves)

是的，事实上，是他 Rachel: Why did you invite him?? I can't stand that guy!

所以我不能让你去 Monica: You were just being so nice to him!

哈～有意思 Rachel: I was faking it! Can't you tell when I'm being fake?

现在有阻挠了 (A man walks by)

靓保姆和我要冲破阻挠～ Rachel: Hey, Mr Philips, nice suit!

名著描写的就是这种故事～ Monica: Right there! That was so fake!

名著, Rachel: Shh!

好吧，是情色小说. Scene:

加文?米切尔的办公室 Rachel's birthday party

瑞秋?格林的办公室! 把电话还我～ Rachel:(to Monica) I still can't believe you invited Gavin. Allright, he is the last

喂，我是瑞秋?格林。 person I want to see.

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