无题

我不敢想象

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from." 客人：“为什么你的狗狗坐在那儿老是看着我吃东西呢?”旅馆主人：“我不敢想象，除非是因为你拿了它经常用来吃东西的盘子了。”

我不能说是哪一年

Palmist: The life line in your hand tells that you will die in a year. Customer: Good gracious! In a year? Palmist: Yes, but I can't say in which.手相大师：你手上的生命线显示出你还有一年将会死去。顾客：天哪，一年后?手相大师：是的，可是我不能说是哪一年。

十块糖

Mother asks her son, "Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candies do you have?"

"Ten." Jim says.

"Ten?" Mother asks.

"Yes, Mum. Four candies are inmy stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Fourand six is ten, isn't it right?"

妈妈问儿子：“吉姆，如果你有10块糖，吃了4块，那你还有几块糖?”

“10块。”吉姆说。

“10块?”妈妈问。

“是的，妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面，6块在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不对吗?”

如何致富

Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.

Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.

Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I'vI've made this month.

弟弟：我看见你亲我姐姐了，如果你不给我五分钱，我就告诉我爸。

姐姐的男朋友：不要那样做。给你五分钱。

弟弟：我这个月已经赚了一块两毛五了

给我那个打赢的

Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then.服务员，这个龙虾只有一只爪。对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。哦，那给我那个打赢的吧。