杂

The family raised flower committed suicide, writing: "Life does not need food and clothing, only lack of sunshine and love."

家里养的花自杀了遗书写到：＂一生不愁吃穿，唯独缺少阳光与爱。＂

（路边的野草:看把她给管的）

I may be defeated, I may lose myself, I may not be able to reach anywhere, I may have lost everything, no matter how I struggle to do nothing. Maybe I just scooped up a bunch of ruins and ashes in vain, only I was in the dark, maybe no one here to bet on me. It doesn't matter, one thing is clear, at least I have something worth waiting for, something worth seeking.

我或许败北，或许迷失自己，或许哪里也抵达不了，或许我已失去一切，任凭怎么挣扎也只能徒呼奈何。或许我只是徒然掬一把废墟灰烬，唯我一人蒙在鼓里，或许这里没有任何人把赌注下在我身上。无所谓，有一点是明确的，至少我有值得等待，值得寻求的东西。

"I have a wild spring flowing through me."

“我身体里流淌着野蛮的春天。”

I have sat with the world for a long time.

我与这个世界长久地坐着。

There is a fire in everyone's heart, passing people, only see smoke.

每个人心中都有一团火，路过的人，只看到烟。

Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself.

达洛维夫人说，她要自己去买花。

Breaking until someone picks me up.

一直破碎，直到有人捡起我。

Eternal eternal spring.

永恒不朽的春天。

The original spring is so beautiful, fortunately, no decay in winter.

原来春天那么美，幸好没有腐烂在冬天。

Let's fly a kite before spring is over.

春天结束之前，我们去放一次风筝吧。

Summer is dying, and my soul will live for ten thousand years.

夏天快要死去了，而我的灵魂要活一万年。

"What we want to end most is not life, but suffering."

“我们最想结束的不是生命，而是痛苦。”

"Looking for the infinite in the finite."

“在有限中寻找一种无限。”

Love the wind on the moor more than poverty and thought.

你要爱荒野上的风声，胜过贫穷和思考。

"The rose of the nineteenth century is in flood, and the bubble of cherry color rises, permeating the lost wind night, yellowing poetry."

“十九世纪的玫瑰泛滥，浆樱色气泡升腾，渗透失坠的风声夜，泛黄的诗履间。”

Today is windy, free and cheap, and plastic bags fly higher than birds.

今日风大，自由廉价，塑料袋飞的比鸟还高。

My emotional dullness is like a room with closed doors and Windows. Though I hear the footsteps of love in front of the house, it seems to me that they are passing by, that they are going to others. Until one day, the footsteps stayed here, and the doorbell rang.

我在情感上的愚钝就像是门窗紧闭的屋子，虽然爱情的脚步在屋前走过去又走过来，我也听到了，可是我觉得那是路过的脚步，那是走向别人的脚步。直到有一天，这个脚步停留在这里，然后门铃响了。

I don't want to hear the positive words in your mouth, don't want to see your tears after the injury. I want to see your dormant, see your independent but not isolated charm, see you stand aloof from the public but have a track to follow the ambition, see you say corrupt, but not willing to degenerate self-control.

我不要听到你嘴里的积极口号，不要看到你在受伤之后的眼泪。我要看到你平地一声雷的蛰伏，看到你特立独行却不被孤立的魅力，看到你与世无争却有迹可循的野心，看到你说堕落，却又不自甘堕落的自制力。

I split in the crisscross of light and shade, and I heal in the flickering flame.

我于明暗交错中分裂，又于摇曳烛火中愈合。

"I don't belong here."

"I belong to the sutras in the Buddhist temples, to the shrines in the monasteries, to the harbors where fishing boats stop for a while, to the deserts where the sunsets are huge and dim."

“我不属于这里的。”

“我属于佛寺里的说经台，属于修道院里的神龛，属于渔船短暂停泊的港口，也属于落日巨大昏黄的沙漠。”

Love me for what? Love my romantic ashes, love my useless aesthetic and perception, or love my imagination in three minutes to live a life?

爱我什么呢？爱我这一身浪漫主义的灰烬，爱我这无用的审美和感知，还是爱我三分钟就过完一生的想象力？

"All bad endings come from excessive enthusiasm."

“所有烂尾的结局都源于过度的热情。”

"Look at that."

"Where?

"The distant hills, where the grass grows."

'What's that?

"My grave."

“你看那里。”

“哪里？”

“远处的山，长草的地方。”

“那是什么？”

“我的坟墓。”

We should sit together in a daze, hair for a long time, and then I say human so small ah, you nodded.

我们应该坐在一起发呆，发很久的呆，然后我说人类好渺小啊，你点点头。

Then I finally got to the waterfall, but I was very sad. Because I always think there should be two people standing here.

后来我终于到了瀑布，但我却很难过。因为我始终觉得，站在这里的应该是两个人。

I thought I'd die this winter, but I recently got a mahogany kimono with pinstripes and mouse gray, which is a summery kimono, so I'd better live until summer.

我本想这个冬天就死去的，可最近拿到了一套鼠灰色的细条纹的麻质和服，是适合夏天穿的和服，所以我还是先活到夏天吧。

尽力把昨天没更的补上（即使我知道没有人在意。）