Chapter 30

Dane had fallen asleep in Pepper's embrace, when the door opened to reveal Edna, who was saying something inaudible.

"Who are you talking to?" Pepper asked.

"Tony," Edna replied while putting the bag of food on the table. "I found some food for Dane, and I took the liberty to take some for you and me too," she explained.

"I'm not hungry," Pepper stated while slowly moving Dane to free herself. She tried to not wake him up in the process. "Is he still outside?" Pepper asked as she walked toward her mum.

"Tony? I guess he is, yes." Pepper looked at her, puzzled. "I mean, it didn't seem like he was going to move anytime soon," she added while removing the plastic boxes from the bag. "Are you sure you don't want to eat a bit, you haven't eaten anything since the plane," her mum insisted.

"No thank you mum, I'm ok," she answered ousting the topic. "What were you two talking about?" Pepper inquired, staring at the door.

"He told me that you told Dane the truth" Edna stated. Pepper nodded. "And he also told me that Dane doesn't want to talk to him anymore."

"Yes, but I think that will change quickly. Dane was in shock at first but having Iron man as father trump the rest of his doubts at this age," Pepper said, remembering the last remark of her son before he fell asleep.

"Yes definitely," agreed Edna, still busy with the preparation of the food. Pepper was still gazing at the door. Her mother noticed, and sighed, "Go to talk to him Ginny, I'll stay with Dane."

Pepper turned her head to her mother at her sentence, "I don't know what to tell him," she admitted.

"You'll know when you'll be in front him, don't worry about that," Edna reassured, moving toward the chair next to Dane's bed. "When Dane will wake up I'll give him his food. Don't worry I have him under control. Go!" She almost ordered her daughter.

Pepper nodded and left the room. She found Tony in the corridor crouching against the wall. At the sight of Pepper, he jumped on his feet and quickly asked her, "How is he doing?"

"He fell asleep," She simply said.

Tony sighed and after a few seconds of silence, asked "Did he say anything?"

"He wants to know what are you doing here now," she answered. "And I have to admit that I'm curious too," she added. "What made you come back Tony? What on earth decided you to come back to see me after so many years?"

Here he was. Back to square one. As if nothing happened the last couple of days or as if nothing he had said already had worked on her. Actually yes, her tone was much softer than the first day in the barn. She was not aggressive but sounded actually interested in what he would have to say. He didn't really know what to answer to her, so he went for the truth. "It's long story."

"I have all the time in the world," she said.

"Come with me, let's walk a bit," he told her while grabbing her arm softly to move her along with him in the corridor. It was the first time since the kiss in the workshop that they found themselves alone without Dane or anyone, and his hand on her arm made her shiver as it always did. "I always wanted to come back to you Pepper," he started. "You should never doubt that." Pepper wanted to say something but decided that she would let him finish without interrupting for once. "The fact is that I was so sure that if you stayed with me, you would die. And so I always forbid myself to come to see you. When I saved you that day, I thought you were dead Pep," tears built up in his throat at the memory. "I carried your unconscious body to the hospital, I saw your heart stopping."

They arrived in a larger room with some chairs and tables and a big bay window leading to a patio. He made them crossed the window and they arrived outside. He leaned himself on the guardrail and looked at the horizon "I was so sure it was better to live far from you. Knowing you were alive was more important than keeping you next to me and I didn't want to take the risk of losing you for real." He looked at her in the eyes, "I know that he doesn't sound like a good argument to you but I swear it is how I felt." He was silent for few seconds, gazing at her and then resumed, "Anyway, I survived those five years by just being Iron Man on missions to save the world," he said sardonically. "I was only Tony Stark on rare occasions while bonding with the Avengers, and evenings always finished the same way." Pepper looked sadly at him knowing already what he meant, "Me drinking myself to sleep."

Pepper sighed heavily and turned to the guardrail and stared at the horizon in her turn. He looked at her and did the same. They stayed silence for a minute or so before Tony broke the silence again "A lot of civilians died during our missions." He stated coldly. "Fury called it collateral damage," he commented cynically. "But I did not agree with him, in every civilian that we lost, I could see you Pepper. All those civilians that were killed, all those collateral damages are the loved ones of someone else's, son of a mother, father of some kids…" He trailed off, turning his head to her and touching her arm. She looked at him carefully, she knew he was being sincere, even more sincere and opened that he had never been in the almost 20 years she had knew him. "In order to control that, the government proposed what they called the Sokovia accords. It was approved by 117 countries and it states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization but operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel," He explained.

"The government has always been credulous," Pepper said mockingly.

"I agreed with it," Tony said in defeat.

"You what?!" Pepper exclaimed. "Tony you always hated the government! I can't even remember how many times you fought with Rhodey over that!" At the mention of his friend's name, Tony felt a shiver going through his spine, "And really, I have the feeling that they were taking the killed civilians as an excuse to try to control the Avengers! They've always hated what they can't control!" She stated thinking that being around Tony had probably influenced a lot her vision on any type of government. "Remembered the trials you went through after the first event that involved Iron Man?!" she asked incredulously, and he nodded. "You fought against it!"

"Yes I know, Peps," he admitted, "But for once I wanted to act like an adult and do what I'm asked to do." Pepper shook her head in disbelief. "Too many people died, Pep, too many! I became Iron Man to repair mistakes and to do good but it didn't work out the way I wanted to and so I tried to make amends!" While trying to explain her the reasons why he did what he did, he realized how naive he'd been. He paused for a moment and then asked, "You remember Steve?"

"Captain America?"

"Yes, he didn't want to sign the Accords! He said that it was the end of our freedom and end of our opportunity to say no."

"Yes, that is what it seems to be from my point of view too," Pepper emphasized.

"I just wanted to make things right Pepper! For me, for the people, for you! I wanted to be the one that cared about all the civilians that nobody else cared about!" Pepper gave him a comforting look. "In the middle one all this craziness, one of Steve's old friends was accused of the Wakanda king murder."

"Yes I read that in the newspaper," Pepper said.

"Steve took the side of his friend! The Avengers broke up and we fought, Pepper, we fought really harshly!" He paused, knowing what he had to say next. "During the fight, Rhodey got shot down!"

Pepper gasped, "What?! What do you mean, he got shot down?! Is he ok? Is he alive?!"

"He is alive, he is in one of the rooms in this hospital. He lost the use of his legs, Pepper," Tony explained his voice full of sadness and guilt. Pepper put her hand on her mouth to muffle a cry. "I went after them Pep!" Anger replaced sadness in his voice, "I went after Cap and his friend! And I discovered that his friend was not responsible for the murder of the Wakanda king. He has been trapped! All this was to lead to the end of the Avengers, to make us break up and I went running into it!" He ranted angrily. Pepper called his name softly, but he didn't pay attention and kept going, "But the guy that set up this plan to break the avengers apart, was more vicious than that and had an ace up in his sleeve!" he paused, then while clenching badly the guardrail, his hand turning white from the pressure, he spat out. "Roger's friend is the murderer of my parents."

Pepper was lost, "What?! I don't follow you Tony, your parents died in a car accident!"

"It was a cover up, Pepper! They were killed! I saw the video, I saw my dad get shot! I saw Roger's friend going on the other side of the car and killing my mum without a second thought," tears were falling from his eyes now

"Oh Tony I'm so sorry," Pepper said while touching his arms gently.

Tony turned his head to Pepper and looked her in the eyes, "I saw the fear in her eyes Pepper. I saw her begging him! And I saw him execute her in cold blood," he cried out.

"Tony," Pepper repeated while forcing him to let go of the guardrail. She put her hand on the back of his head forcing him to rest it her shoulder and hugged him hard, kissing the top of his head softly.

"I've made so many bad decisions since 5 years, Pepper!" He said against her shoulder. "I came to you that day to prove myself that I was right on something at least! I had to make sure you were living the life you deserved. I wanted to make sure you were happy without me, living a good life far from the craziness! I came to make sure it was a good decision!" Pepper was caressing his hair while he talked, he sobbed, stepped aside, looked at her deeply in the eyes and added, "I was in the workshop that day, reading your message. I realized how empty I've felt since you left. I was so lost and sad, and missing you like hell for so long. It was purely selfish... That's what I am most of the time! I…"

She cut him off "Oh Tony, I'm so sorry!" He opened his mouth again but she didn't let him time to talk "I'm so sorry for not letting you know for Dane! I should have called and told you I was pregnant," she admitted miserably.

"Oh no Pepper, you don't have anything to be sorry for! If someone has to be sorry here, it's me! Not you, not iron man, not SHIELD, not anyone or anything but me, me and me only! Fury told me that earlier and I didn't want to understand his point then, but he was right! I can't blame SHIELD for my own misery while I was the one to abandon you!" Pepper sighed "I tried to blame them for their interests in Dane, and for not telling me, but I knew where you were living and I never came myself! That was my worst mistake." He said sadly.

She turned back, leaned on the guardrail and sighed heavily, "Yes it sure was," she replied gloomily.

He looked at her watching at the horizon and said, "I can't change the past Pepper, but I can try to make the future right." She turned and looked at him doubtfully, "I know you don't trust me anymore and you will maybe never trust me again, but I really want to be part of you and Dane's life," He said sincerely, and she smiled at him softly. He put his hand on her arms and said, "I talked with Fury and Hill"

"And?" She asked. And Tony explained to her everything Fury and Hill had told him during the next few minutes. Pepper punctuated every single sentence with an 'oh my god' or a gasp.

When he was done, he added, "I think we need to leave this facility as soon as possible," she nodded in agreement. "I'll go to talk to the doctor to know when it's safe for Dane to leave. I think it would be a good idea if you come to live at the mansion for few days until his arms is fully ok," he ventured to ask, "and then we'll take it from there, what do you think?"

"Yes I think that's a good idea," she said.

"Perfect, let's go," he said and started to move back towards the door.

They were almost back in Dane's corridor when Pepper asked, "Did you say that James is in this hospital?"

"Yes he is," Tony answered and knowing probably her next question, replied before she could ask, "Do you want me to lead you to his room?"

"Yes please, while you are talking to the doctor, I want to visit him"

"Ok, follow me."