Chapter 28

She'd said it! It was finally done! Tony and Pepper held their breath in anticipation for Dane reaction.

Dane was looking at Pepper and then at Tony, his five year old brain trying to process this new information. He remembered all that his mum told him about his father when he had asked this question before. He recalled that she told him that he hadn't wanted to live with them and that his life and work were more important than having a family of his own, that he left before he was even born. Dane had decided then that he didn't want to meet his father, never! When he'd said this to his mum, she'd said that he would have to eventually meet him when the time came. But Dane had been sure, he didn't want to meet the person that hadn't wanted them! But now, everything was confused in his little brain. Tony had been nice to them in the last couple of days and if he was his father how come he was there with them?

Dane remained silent for few minutes and Pepper started to worry, knowing her son a bit too well. Dane was smart for his age, probably thanks to his father, but also very rational and not at all impulsive in his reactions, thanks to his mother. Everything he said was usually well thought out and she knew that right now, since he was completely still, her son was lost and struggling. So she broke the silence.

"Dane, sweetheart," she said stroking his hair to grab his attention, "Say something, baby, just tell me what's on your mind. You have the right to say or ask whatever you want, good or bad," she tried to reassure him.

Dane reacted to his mum's voice and turned back to Tony, "Why did you let us go? Why you didn't want to be with us?" His voice cracked.

Tony's heart broke in his chest, "It's not like that at all, I… I mean I would have… I didn't…" He was stuttering, not knowing what to say or where to start.

"He didn't know!" Interjected Pepper

Dane turned to his mum at her words. "What? But you said that my dad didn't want us!" He exclaimed, feeling extremely betrayed.

"I know, I said that. It's just because this story was a bit too complicated for your age at that time, baby. Tony and I broke up before any of us knew that I was pregnant. And when you arrived, I just wanted to protect you from all the craziness your dad's world brought… " She said, looking at Tony with accusing eyes.

"But maybe if you had told him he would have been happy and he would have come back to live with us," Dane said with tears in his eyes. Pepper dropped her head in guilt. Dane turned to his father in distress, his voice shaking, "Tony, you would have come back to be with us, right? Tell her you would have!"

Tony was transfixed in his spot on the bed, unable to move or talk. It was like a nightmare, like the worst nightmare he had ever had in his life. Dreaming of Afghanistan and the aliens were nothing compared to the pain he was feeling right now. Even when he thought that he had reached the bottom learning about the real circumstance of his parent's death, it was nothing compared to what he was feeling now! The two persons he loved the most on this planet were desperately in pain because of him. He opened his mouth but no words came out. The tears were now running on Dane's check and he knew it was his fault. He wanted to shout that he would have come back, he wanted to yell that he should have never made her leave in the first place, he wanted to cry that he loved her more than anything in his life, he wanted scream that he wanted the three of them to be a family.

But the truth was that he knew that he couldn't change the past and what he had done couldn't be changed by a few nice words.

"Look baby," Pepper said while pulling him into her embrace, "I know that all of this is complicated for you and makes it hard to understand but you will eventually. I promise. You wanted the truth and deserved it. I don't regret telling you, babe. But we don't want you to suffer like that. Focus on the positive, your dad is here now for you and that is what matters," Pepper said to the surprise of Tony, who didn't expect her to stand by his side.

Dane pulled himself out of Pepper arms and looked at Tony, "What are you doing here now?" Anger replaced the sadness in his voice and eyes. Before Tony could answer, he added, "You liked being Iron Man more than you liked being with us! That's why mum hates Iron Man that much," he concluded furiously.

"No…" Tony tried to defend himself, "it's not like that at all"

"Just leave us!" Dane shouted with his little voice, "Get out," he cried in despair.

Tony looked at Pepper as if to ask her what he was supposed to do. Pepper shook her head at Tony sadly and then at the door to indicate that it would be better to leave the room for now. Pepper knew that it would take time for Dane to be able to swallow this earth-shattering news. So Tony left the room without a word.

His heart was aching, he pressed his back on the wall facing the door of Dane's room and let himself slide down to the ground, ending up sitting on the floor. His body felt so heavy, he had always thought that he was bulletproof but the last couple of weeks taught him the hard way that he was not. His teammates had fought each other to death bringing Rhodey to hospital. Steve betrayed him in the worse way, hiding and defending the real person responsible for the murder of his parents. And finally, as if all that hadn't been enough, his heart brought him back to the only person he was fighting for and he discovered that he had himself jeopardized his life! Fury was right, he couldn't blame anyone but himself. He had to stop lying to everyone and himself the most. Pepper was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he had not only pushed her away but he had also pushed away the family he could have had with her. He had never thought about that before, he'd never seen himself as a dad and neither Pepper nor he had talked about the possibility of kids when they were together. He closed his eyes at the thought of his son. He had a son and he missed five years of his life! All the short moments he had spent with him for now felt so right! He couldn't believe he had screwed up this much! He inhaled deeply through his nose, swallowed hard a couple of times and then finally opened his eyes again gazing at the closed door in front of him. He wanted so badly to rip open the door, go find them and tell them that he was the biggest jerk in the whole world, which they actually probably already knew. But he knew it wouldn't do any good to do so.

So he stayed still, in the corridor, hoping that Dane might talk to him again someday and hoping that Pepper would somehow forgive him and let him be part of their life even though he knew he didn't really deserve it. But right now, in this moment, he didn't care about what he deserved or not, the only thing he cared about was not what he needed but more than that, what Pepper and Dane needed and wanted. And even if it was painful for him to think about it, if Pepper would decide that he wouldn't belong to their future, he would agree.

And this is when he lost it, at this thought, tears fell quietly on his cheeks, and he wept silently in the abandoned corridor.