Chapter 7

Tony was on his knees on the floor of the barn. He felt completely lost, his body still shivering from all the tears that he had shed at Pepper's words. He hadn't slept for more than 48 hours, but sleep was far from his mind at this moment. The only thing that he could think of was that the only person he ever loved in his life didn't want to see him ever again. He knew that she had good reasons, but that didn't make her words hurt any less. He knew he loved her more than life itself and it had crushed him that she didn't even see that everything he had done was for her, for her safety, and most of all because he loved her. Did she really think that these 5 years had been a cake walk for him? Without a doubt the past 5 years had been the most horrible years of his life. He had spent most of his time on missions all over the world for SHIELD. He had accepted more missions and assignments than he should have just to keep his mind occupied and keep himself far away from everything that would remind him of her. He didn't even have any clue on how it was that Stark Industries was still standing and still one of the biggest and most successful companies in the world because he hadn't even gone to one Board meeting in literally years. It had been so painful for him to do anything that was related to SI, because everything reminded him of her. And when he would go into his office everyone would ask him about her or talked about her. At least when he was working for SHIELD nobody there would ask him anything about Pepper, even though they all knew what had happened.

He shook his head trying to rid his mind of negative thoughts and tried to compose himself as much as he could. He stood up and suddenly felt so weak, his lack of sleep and food plus the emotional tornado that he just passed through was not helping. He spotted a chair and sat down heavily on it. Head in his hands, he tried to think about his next step. What he was supposed to do? Leave? Stay? Fight? Drift off to sleep? None of those options looked like the right one. He knew that when it came to decisions involving relationships he never had been able to make the right decision even one time in his whole life.

He could stay and fight, fight for Pepper, fight for Dane, but he knew that Pepper didn't want him anymore and he certainly didn't trust himself at all in the role of a father.

He could leave as Pepper asked him, but then that would be like admitting that Pepper was right and that he had sent her away because he couldn't trust her and he was too selfish to even try to see her reasons for staying with him.

As he thought about what he was going to do, his gaze fell on the motorcycle. So he instinctively did what he did best and he got up and went to where the engine parts were laid out on Dane's work table and started to work. He always had the ability to fix everything in his life, but when it came to interpersonal relationships with human beings, he was still always better with machines than people. Maybe Pepper was right; maybe he did love Iron Man more than her because it was a machine and Iron Man was easy to deal with, and easy to fix. He shook his head at this thought. No, she was wrong. He loved her more and he had always loved her more than anything in his life. He had just always been a little dense when it came to matters of the heart.

"A little" he highlighted in his thoughts "Who are you kidding? It took you ten years to show her your true feelings." And then five years ago, it took him less than five minutes and some mean words on his part to destroy everything good they had between them and drive her away from him, he thought as pain overwhelmed him again.

"but you did it for her safety" he argued, just why is it that nobody seemed to see it that way, and why was it that everybody was still thinking that he let her leave him out of his own free will.

"Come one Stark, who are you trying to convince?" He argued back. Pepper was right; what he did to her was unfair. But then everything that had happened to him in the past 5 years wasn't fair either! He had wasted his life during the past 5 years, and he had missed out on a great life. He had missed Pepper, he had missed Pepper's pregnancy, he had missed Dane's birth, he had missed Dane's first words, first steps, first everything. But most of all he had just missed Pepper; he missed her so much that it had been slowly killing him; he missed her love, her touch, her smile, her voice, even her frequent reprimands. He wanted nothing more right now than to run out of the barn through the yard, throw open the door to the house, find Pepper and hug her hard and never let go of her again.

While he continued to think about Pepper and Dane, his hands were busy working on the motorcycle. From his earlier look at the engine with Dane, Tony already knew that the cam followers for all of the cylinders were worn out and needed to be replaced. When he had removed the last cam follower he exclaimed out loud. "Ah, here you are!" he said holding on to the metal piece "Don't you know better than to give my son a hard time…" His own words coupled with his exhaustion caused him to sink to his knees and he found himself sitting on the floor amazed at his own words. "My son…" he repeated in disbelief. He was so tired that he was not really sure if he could believe it or not. Here he was finding out after years of not knowing that he had a son, not with one of his one night stands but with Pepper. His Pepper. His love. Then, the reality hit him again. Because by her own words she was no longer his Pepper but Virginia Potts and Dane was not his son but Virginia's son! How could this this have happened! He shook his head and slowly stood up. He reached in his jean pocket to get his cell phone and dialed a number.

"Hey Jarvis, are you there?" he said.

"Yes, Sir, for you always." The AI answered politely.

"I need cam followers for an old Indian 440 flat head motor," Tony said to Jarvis.

"Sir," Jarvis said after a pause no doubt to look up information on the engine "cam followers in good condition are no longer available."

Tony thought for a second than added "Ok, so pull the specs up and get Dummy and U to make a complete set for me."

"Right away, Sir," Jarvis responded obediently.

"And make it fast Jarvis, I need them quickly. Prepare one of the suits on automatic pilot and bring the parts here to me. But make sure it's one of the stealth suits. Everyone here is asleep but me of course." Tony asked bending down next to the motorcycle.

"As you wish Sir." Answered Jarvis.

"Ah and J. Throw in a couple of quarts of automotive hot rod red for me too." Tony said remembering his promise to Dane.

"Yes sir," Jarvis answered almost ironically "We do seem to have a large supply of hot rod red considering we do spend considerable time repainting your suits due to battle damage."

"If I didn't know you better Jarvis, I would swear that you were trying to argue with me.," Tony said

"Sorry, sir, but I would NEVER do that." Jarvis replied with just a hint of sarcasm.

Tony shook his head, "Ok fine. I need everything here within 90 minutes" he said

"Already manufacturing the parts, Sir." Jarvis said.

"Thanks J." Tony replied and ended the call, sliding his cell phone into his pant's pocket.

Few meters from the barn, Pepper was still at the window, staring at the barn and asking herself what she should do. She had prayed a lot for this moment, the moment he would come back, actually every night for the past 5 years… So much time, so much pain. At least he had come back, and not because she was pregnant or because he knew about Dane, no, he had come back for her.

She closed her eyes and sighed heavily "Come on Potts, don't be so stupidly sentimental." She thought. She returned to her bed and slid under the covers. She was so emotional drained but somehow she was still able to fall asleep quickly.

The next morning, she woke up around 6 am. She slowly opened her eyes and spent the first few seconds of her day trying to figure out if everything that had happened yesterday was a dream or not. She grabbed her Blackberry, and opened her agenda as she did every morning. Tony Stark came back in her life yesterday, she kept reminding herself as she was going through her morning emails. But then did he really ever go out of her life, she thought ironically while reading an email from Emmerson the SI Board member that she appointed CEO before she left Tony and SI. Tony probably still had no idea that she was still involved with running SI by proxy! That she was the one still helping Emmerson to keep SI afloat. She didn't know why she was still doing that, after all these years, because Emmerson should be able to run the company alone by now… But then she had realized only months after she left Tony that if she stopped helping Emmerson and SI, it would mean that she had given up on him… and she hadn't wanted to do that. But now? After her words to Tony yesterday where did she stand now? She shook her head and left her bed, walking slowly to the window. Each step made her heart beat just a little faster. When she realized that the Audi wasn't parked next to her car anymore, she felt her heart start to fall apart in her chest.

"Come on, it's what you wanted," she thought. She shook her head slowly, he was Tony Stark, and she knew him well, so what she really expect from him? She walked into the bathroom to prepare herself for work. Then, after waking up Dane, they joined her mom in the kitchen. After a light breakfast, she kissed slowly Dane on his head.

"I'm leaving honey, be good with Anna." She stated ruffling his dark hair.

"I'm always good with her, mommy, but sometimes she is a little annoying. I mean, she doesn't understand that I already know almost everything she tries to teach me." Dane explained.

"I know, I know sweetheart, I told you, I promise I'll talk to her about that." She answered giving him a smile. "I'm leaving now, bye, see you tonight." She said leaving the kitchen.

"Bye mommy,"

"Bye, Ginny, have a good day at work,"

Pepper reached her car and slid inside. As she went to put her briefcase on the passenger's seat, she spotted a sheet of paper folded in half with her name written on it. She froze for a second, recognizing right away the handwriting on the note. She slowly picked it up and took a deep breath before reading it. She felt tears building in her eyes at every word she read. As she finished reading it, a single tear dropped onto the paper. She suddenly found herself caught between anger and… and love. It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair at all! All he had done was left one note for her and of course he thought that she would take him back immediately. Anger won out over love as she rolled down her window and threw the note away into the yard. She took a deep calming breath and started up her car. She had barely left the driveway when she suddenly slammed on the brake. She quickly opened the door and ran in the opposite direction looking for Tony's note which had started to blow down the driveway towards the road. She fell on her knees as she picked up the note and pressed it to her chest, sobbing quietly. The words of Tony echoing in her head…

"Virginia,

I know that I have made bad decisions my whole life but forcing you to leave me was by far the worst. I should have listened to you and your reasons for staying with me. I should always listen to you. Now, that I realize my mistake it's maybe too late. So starting now, I'll do everything you want me to do. You asked me to leave and get out of your life, so I'll do it, but I want you to know that if one day you change your mind, I'll be there waiting for you. Even if it is in 5, 10 or 15 years, I'll wait for you… Because I love you…

Tony,"