英语笑话

All Except the Music除了音乐

A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?" "Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is." 一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗?” “噢，好极了，小姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐其它都很好。”

I am acting like a lady 我要表现得像一位女士

One day women's dresses were on sale at a department store. A dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women. 一天，一家百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给他的太太挑选一件女装。但是，没过多久，他就发现自己已被疯狂的女人们撞得踉踉跄跄。 He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowd. 他竭力地忍耐着。后来，他低下头，挥舞双臂，挤过人群。 "You there!" challenged a thrilling voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?" “你干嘛?”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得像一位绅士吗?” "Listen," he said. "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady." “听着，”他说。“我已经像绅士一样表现了一个小时了。从现在起，我要表现得像一位女士。”

An Exceptional Phenomenon（罕见）

4-year-old Begin and his cousin scrambled (攀爬，争抢) for toys. His mum told him: “ You are older brother because you’re older than your (cousin) sister. You should give ground to her. ” Begin thought a little but maintained(坚持) : “ My sister must give ground to me when she grows older than I.” His uncle around overheard and said : “Such a thing hardly occurs.” 四岁的贝京和小妹妹争玩具。妈妈对他说：“你大，你是哥哥，要让着小妹妹点儿。” 贝京想了想，坚持说：“等妹妹长得比我大了，她也得让着我。”姨夫在一旁听了说：“这种情况相当罕见。

给我那个打赢的

Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then.服务员，这个龙虾只有一只爪。对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。哦，那给我那个打赢的吧。