英语笑话

only once只有一次

A novice lion tamer was being interviewed. "i understand your father was also a lion tamer," the reporter queried. "yes, he was," the man replied. "do you actually put your head in the lion's mouth?" "i did it only once," said the new tamer, "to look for dad." 一位驯狮新手正在接受采访。“我知道你的父亲也是个驯狮手，”记者说。 “他过去是。”那人回答说。 “你真的把头伸进过狮子的嘴里吗？” “只有一次，”那位驯狮新手说，“为了找我爸爸。”

starstruck追星族

I have been starstruck since i was a little girl, so i was delighted and practically speechless not long ago when i spotted the actor ernest borgnine walking in my direction on new york's fifth avenue. "why, you're ernest borgnine!" i managed to blurt out. "yes," he said, nodding politely, "i know." 从小时候起，我就一直被明星所深深吸引，因此不久以前当我在纽约第五大街上认出演员厄内斯特.波格尼向我迎面走过来时，我欣喜若狂，完全不知该说什么好。“怎么，你是厄内斯特.波格尼!”我想法迸出一句话来。 “是的，”他很有礼貌地点了点头，说道：“我知道。”

visual training视力训练

The squad were having "visual training". one smart recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. the party was so far away that the men appeared as mere dots, but unhesitatingly the recruit replied: "sexteen men and a sergeant, sir." "right; but how do you know there's a sergeant there?" "he's not doing any digging, sir." 班里正在进行“视力训练”。一个聪明伶俐的新兵被班长叫出来数远处旷野上采掘队的人数。采掘队在很远的地方，那些人看起来只是一些小点儿。但是这个新兵毫不犹豫的回答： “十六个士兵和一个中士，长官。” “正确。可你如何知道那儿有一个中士？” “他不干活，长官。”

West Point西点军校

My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point." One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point." 父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的橄榄球赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好认我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。” 一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。